And if you would hesitate to call something an RPG that allows you that much choice over the way you play your character, I'd love to know what you WOULD call an RPG...
I prefer to stick to the old definition. A game where you create a character (or even better: a party) who is (are) defined by stats, and develop your character(s) by means of playing through a quest or series of quests. Basically, a computer simulation of a P&P RPG.
Choice isn't integral to a RPG, stats are. There are no stats in either Witcher 2 or Mass Effect games, yet they are still considered RPGs nowadays. It's the consequence of a preference nowadays over cinematic experiences in games and too much genre blending.
