its cool with me to have no character customization as i don't believe you even get to see the actual character in this game or am i wrong?
Looks like it. On the Raven you're stuck in first person mode, on the battlefield you have your dragon form. Everybody refers to you as either 'Commander' or just 'you' and your marriages are clearly political.
With only a very small bit of clever writing, the Commander's gender need never be mentioned at all, leaving it up to the player to decide what they are and what they look like (though I suspect most players are going to assume the Commander is 'Male' anyway because that's the 'default' gender).
The only wrinkle here is cutscenes, since I do expect to see the Dragon Knight's human form in those - but if they're heavily armoured or shot from behind, it's still possible to get away with it. In the end, Larian might even be able to go with a 'Samus is a Girl' moment.
