All right, I'll go for ripping it apart. You do realize the irony in asking us to re-write a press release to be a better description of how the game has changed when we ourselves haven’t seen how it’s changed, right?

Originally Posted by "Dragon Commander Press Release blurb"
The lands of Rivellon are overrun by the forces of chaos. You are one of the last dragon knights. Do you have what it takes to unite the races and build an army formidable enough to defeat the biggest threat ever?


"The lands of Rivellon are overrun by the forces of chaos."

The first sentence is okay, but it's so generic it could really refer to any game. It's the kind of thing that gamers eyes pass right over. It doesn't tell me anything about THIS game. Think about about what kind of chaos, what the consequences of it are.


"You are one of the last dragon knights."

The difference between "the last" and "one of the last" is a small distinction. It's far too similar to how you'd describe Divinity 2. People shouldn't be able to confuse this with Divinity 2. Your games should be a bit more distinctive than that. Perhaps something like "One of the first Dragon Knights"?


"Do you have what it takes to unite the races and build an army formidable enough to defeat the biggest threat ever?"

But unless there's something you really need to tell us, it's not the biggest threat ever. The previous games have had you fighting to prevent the Lord of Chaos, who "might return all the universe to an empty primal Chaotic void" or something like that. That sounds a lot bigger a threat than some empress conquering a bunch of lands. It's implied in Divine Divinity that Demons invaded and slaughtered their way through the lands of Ferol. Beyond Divinity had Damian assisting in planetary genocide, and Divinity 2 had Damian gassing Broken Valley and Orobas Fjords. What's the Really Big Deal with the Big Bad in this game? You might want to be much more specific. Just putting out Generic RPG Press Release #267 isn't going to turn a lot of heads. What makes this game different? What makes this game exciting? What are the consequences for failing to stop the bad guy?

Also I’m STILL wondering what happened to the Orc race. They were in Divine Divinity as one of the seven council seats and had a big part, but here, they’ve been replaced by the undead race for some reason.


Originally Posted by "Dragon Commander Press Release blurb"

  • Become the Dragon – Take control of the dragon in you and join your troops in combat, assisting them with a host of powerful magic skills
  • Full 3D massive real time strategy – Engage in land, air and sea warfare, commanding unique fantasy units with various upgrades and tactical abilities
  • Dynamic story driven campaign – After each battle, you make choices that affect the lives of everybody in the empire and from your strategi map, decide which countries to attack
  • Cooperative and competitive multiplayer – Play with or against your friends. In cooperative mode, one player can command the armies while the other blasts away at the enemy in dragon form


"Become the Dragon – Take control of the dragon in you and join your troops in combat, assisting them with a host of powerful magic skills"

Perhaps use more powerful language here. Not just "Become the Dragon", make it more explicit: "Dominate the skies as a Dragon, assist your troops in combat with a host of powerful magic skills" - You might also want to mention the jetpack as well, because from what I hear, the jetpack is the most memorable thing about the Dragon. Memorable is good. "Dominate the skies as a Dragon to assist your troops in combat, using a rocket pack and a host of devastatingly destructive magic skills." Alliteration is your friend.


"Dynamic story driven campaign – After each battle, you make choices that affect the lives of everybody in the empire and from your strategi map, decide which countries to attack"

(First of all, you made a typo - "strategic".) If there really are thousands of permutations, I would emphasize that. Lots of games can claim to have a dynamic story driven campaign, but how many have 5 endings for each of 6 different princesses?

Quote
I’ll leave it to your imagination just how complex this all is, but in theory we have over 2,4 million possible endings using this mechanic, expressed as the combinations of possible end-situations our main characters can find themselves in. And because it’s a game of large-scale dragon warfare, you can multiply that by 2, because you also either win or lose the war.


If there are different endings that are not just “game over” for losing the war, mention that as well.

You could also throw in a bullet-point about the revolutionary facial animation technology that you’re using to make the voice-acting match the facial movements uniquely instead of using canned animations.

Overall my advice is “You didn’t make a generic game, so don’t make a generic press release.”

*****

Also, for marketing purposes, enthusiastic fans spreading the word through their social networks and communities are probably a really good idea. I'd certainly love to help promote the game on the other forum I'm a member of, but I'm not going to do that with outdated information. Once there's new information, screenshots, videos and such, then I can make a thread. Post another one of those fansite packs like you did for Beyond Divinity, full of things the fans can use to make their own threads on other forums, and the fans will get to work promoting the game - and they won't even ask to be paid!