Okay, it’s Larian’s fault for signing distribution deals. Let’s take a trip back in time to before Larian did that so we can save the day.
Sarcasm Theatre presents:
“The Ghost”
GHOST: “SweNNNNN… wake up SweNNNNN!”
SWEN: “Aaa. A ghost.”
GHOST: “IIIII am the GhOOOst of Morons FUUUture, here to save yoUUU from making a teRRRible mistaKKKe!”
SWEN: “Oh no! What’s going to happen? Tell me, Ghost?”
GHOST: “In the fUUUture, Good Old GAAAmes will make a busIIIneSSS deciSSSion to change its policYYY of no regional prIIIcing.”
SWEN: “Oh no, that is terrible. How can I help?”
GHOST: “YoUUU must not mAAAke those deals with rEEEgional disribUUUtors.”
SWEN: “What? But we’re very close and if I do that Larian will be guaranteed to break even when selling the game.”
GHOST: “AbandoNNN retail, go dIIIgital onlYYY.”
SWEN: “But retail sales still make up a large part of the market, and let us reach customers who have no or poor Internet access.”
GHOST: “ScreWWW theMMM…”
SWEN: “And even if I can still manage to find enough funding for the game without partnering with distributors, without them, I won’t be able to afford to translate the game into other languages – we need the distributors for that. It would be English only.”
GHOST: “It doeSSSn’t maTTTer.”
SWEN: “Ghost, I must know – what will happen if I ignore your advice and sign the deals anyway?”
GHOST: “You wiLLLLL have to gOOO to KickstarteRRR.”
SWEN: “Because I ran out of money?”
GHOST: “NOOO, to get extrAAA funding to mAAAke the game beTTTeRRR.”
SWEN: “But the Kickstarter fails?”
GHOST: “NOOOO! You get twOOO and a haLLLf times what yoUUU asked foRRR!”
SWEN: “But what will the bad thing be?”
GHOST: “AbouTTT fivEEE people will blAAAme LariaNNN for GoG chAAAnging it’s policYYY.”
SWEN: “Oh no. Not five whole people. I must cancel the deal that will make my next game amazingly successful beyond anything I could have hoped for!
GHOST: “YeSSSSS!”
SWEN: “And that’ll save GoG, right?”
GHOST: “NOOOoooOOOoooOOO…. TheYYY were going to dOOO that anYYYwaYYY. But noWWW you won’t be blAAAmed for iTTT.”
SWEN: “… Get out.”
