"A large part of the reactions about the game presumed difficulty that you can hear being talked about is actually coming from early players, beginners and various casual players who simply dont bother with any of the game numerous features or options.
Or have missed some of them by accident."
thats the most important part of the OP's lengthy post-- I just started playing the game myself and have it set to normal, and being that I'm still learning, I am finding a lot of the combat scenarios difficult- for example i thought i was stuck when i fought an enemy that put fire on the ground (that doesnt seem to be going away) and roderick died on said fire only to be resurrected and instantly die again from the fire- I then learned going to the homestead brings his ashes there and I could res him-- but i still cant progress beyond that fire on the ground because it fills the corridor and there are no water barrels and i dont have any rain spells or scrolls and haven't seen any in town.
Now-- I'm sure there is a solution but i haven't discovered it yet, and thats the point. Of course a game is going to be a LOT easier when you've cleared it 2-3 times as the OP has.
Just saying I think the difficulty is pretty well balanced from what I've played so far.