Ooooh, crap. I never even made the (now obvious to me) distinction between 'script' as in the character script files and script/code that you'd use in the Story Editor. That would definitely explain why the entries on the Wiki page I linked to weren't appearing where I expected. As you may or may not have noticed by now, I'm very, very new to all this. :P
I'll deal with my intended NPC-reactive "
I'm on fire, aaagh" issue another day. I'm only just managing to wrap my head around the Script Editor stuff -- I think I'd just get a headache if I also started experimenting with .char/itemScripts, ha. Another day!
On a more positive note, I did manage to use Story Editor today to set the following up get it to actually work:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMnPdY5lTB0