Just trying to keep going along with the ridiculousness of the thread.
*chuckles* not a bad idea. I should be asleep, it's 2am but I keep wanting to see where this goes next.
Unfortunately some of my fav recipes used a Thermomix (fancy food processor/cooker), but I'll trade you this rather scrummy Wheaten Bread recipe for your Apple Pie
Irish soda bread / Wheaten Bread
★★★★★
Bread
cook 45-55 ∙ difficulty Easy
INGREDIENTS
250g plain white flour
250g plain wholemeal flour
100g porridge oats
3 Tbsp Bran
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
1 tsp salt
25g butter , cut in pieces
500-560ml buttermilk
DIRECTIONS
Preheat the oven to 200C/gas 6/fan 180C and dust a baking sheet with flour. Mix the dry ingredients in a large bowl, then rub in the butter. Pour in the buttermilk and mix it in quickly with a table knife, then bring the dough together very lightly with your fingertips (handle it very, very gently). Now shape it into a flat, round loaf measuring 20cm/8in in diameter.
Put the loaf on the baking sheet and score a deep cross in the top. (Traditionally, this lets the fairies out, but it also helps the bread to cook through.) Bake for 30-35 minutes until the bottom of the loaf sounds hollow when tapped. If it isn't ready after this time, turn it upside down on the baking sheet and bake for a few minutes more.
Transfer to a wire rack, cover with a clean tea towel (this keeps the crust nice and soft) and leave to cool. To serve, break into quarters, then break or cut each quarter in half to make 8 wedges or slices - or simply slice across. Eat very fresh.
