The normal maps divinity uses are an utter confusing conundrum and are the primary reason I stopped making custom assets, I have no idea how to do these normal maps without manually editing EACH of them by hand in photoshop via "Mode -> Multichannel"

What your problem is the following
Your OWN normal maps go RGB (red/green/blue)
Divinity uses other channel order...
R = is black (ie, a black fill) Depending on the shader, it can have some functions though
G = what is normally R
B = what is normally B
A = what is normally G
And if this sounds confusing then please take heart, I just had to look this up 5 times to be sure I don't confuse it. And I am still not sure what I wrote there makes sense to anyone but me.
As you can guess this is a lot of fun to do for 500 normal maps.
And remember, all DDS textures are flip-vert

For the game to load your assets reach load, you need to make them a proper resource with paths inside your mod folder
Divinity - Original Sin\Data\Mods\YourMod
As long as it's in that folder, part of a resource, and your item is part of a template, it loads them on start.
If stuff is read-only then... I have no idea, my folders are not read-only. Run editor as admin?
Ps.: I export via dds plugin as well, and that works. Your weird splash of oddness is because channel order is wrong.