You should tell the developers to move the "Endorsements" and "Who we are" section to after the stuff talking about what the game actually is. Endorsements and bios don't convince people to buy games, talking about the game does, so move that up top.
They are also missing descriptions for some of the tier rewards.
EDIT: I was not really that impressed. They didn't say all that much about what made this game special, and what they did say sounded pretty much like what a lot of other games already have done.
I pretty much agree with these points. The presentation is horrible and the description does not actually describe the GAME they want to make, but rather lore and team and details. But what about the GAME (play)?
A good presentation on KS always makes me envision the game in my mind (this is facts+hope). A bad one leaves me with an pitch black cloud. And the cloud was indeed pitch black after the video and the first 2 pages of text.
"TBS" and "party based".. that's about all I got from it. Could describe literally any game ever made even Baldurs Gate or IWD. And whether it's good or horrible is impossible to judge. So this won't get my support.
