JPaul76; The issue with the wands will be fixed in the next update, at least. I'll check if the random recipe book drop is a known issue.
Cadjule;
Have you tried hosting?
Are you shutting down all non-essential programs (especially anti-virus) before starting the game? Firewalls have also caused conflicts (an automatic update to either program could have reset something or started causing an issue even if they were fine with the game before). If you are using a third party firewall program, try connecting with it shut down.
Have you tried different ways to connect? For the Steam version there is the online lobby in addition to the friends invite function. Steam and GOG can use Direct Connection (using either an IP address or Server ID, which the host can get in the connectivity menu after starting or loading a game, by hitting Esc to bring up the menu to click that button, or clicking on the diamond icon at the top of the mini-map). LAN may also be an option, but if you can't at least test with another computer on the same local network, you would need to use VPN software like Hamachi or Tunngle.
Try verifying local files: in the Steam library, right click on Divinity Original Sin Enhanced Edition and select Properties, switch to the Local Files tab and then click on the 'Verify Integrity of Game Cache...' button. With the GOG version, in the (optional) Galaxy client, select Divinity: Original Sin Enhanced Edition in the left column, then click on the More button, and in the Manage menu select 'Verify / Repair'.
If you lower the resolution and switch to Windowed display mode, that may trying to force the game to close if it locks up while troubleshooting. That could ley you see any error messages or popup windows from an anti-virus or firewall program may could be hidden if the game is in fullscreen mode.
