Are you a piece of live art of Will Gibson? A lady hacker who uses an inherited deck.
No, I'm just old.

I bought it new, not quite realising what I'd acquired.
... an average office keyboard handle that.
Oh, sorry, in my vagueness I failed to specify "thingy": I meant programmable key-sequences and what not. I'm one of those people who's happy waist-deep in reams of C code but is mystified by the remote control for the telly.