i personally favor the death knight aproach (high necromancy + weapon skills = lifesteal on each hit) combined with retribution to reflect enemy damage (and thus healing you from necromancy) you get healed everytime someone attacks you and everytime you attack someone... but thats just me.
So glad I was able to show you the beauty of the Death Knight my friend. Come and embrace the full potential of the source, don't let yourself be limited by the narrow minded!
I'd go two handed for the Death Knight, simply because the higher damage increase the heals.
The shield would be nice too since I am fairly sure I'd also put point in geomancy for the poison (to heal myself, I'd go Undead Death Knight). If you go with a living race with no other healers maybe the shield? It is hard to tell right now, we don't know if you can tank without a shield in DOS2 but you certainly could in DOS1.