*Ring, ring, ring*
EMPLOYER: "________, can I help you?"
ME: "Yeah Hi it's me - Quiet day in the *COUGH* market today?"
EMPLOYER: "No."
ME: "Oh... well... I seem to have *COUGH* contracted some type of *COUGH, HACK, ARRRRGH* really bad Curse or Disease and am Weakened *COUGH* to the point where I can't even move *HACK*. I was hoping you could *COUGH* Bless me with a couple of days off until I am Healed enough to 'do battle' once again, as they say.
EMPLOYER: "Sure thing. Feel better, see you in a couple days."
-------------
5 DAYS LATER:
*Ring, ring ring*
ME: "*COUGH* Hello?"
EMPLOYER: "Yeah hi, ____?"
ME: "COUGH, HACK* Yeah?"
EMPLOYER: "Are you alright? It's been almost a week and we haven't heard from you at all."
ME: "Ugh *COUGH, WHEEZE* I went to my local Alchemist Pharmacist to pick up some Drudanae Pain Reliever and it seems to be working but I still think I need a couple more turns days before I am in any position to be in front of customers... I think I'd be more of a hindrance than a benefit in my current condition. I talked to ____ and he said he'd be willing to fill my shift during this time.
EMPLOYER: "Oh... Ok. Well we really need you back at the dealership ASAP. Feel better man."
---------------
TO BE CONTINUED...
I would have said "that excuse has more holes than this fine slice of gorgombert!"
