Holy crap, this game is hard.
Pretty much all the individual problems you mention in here - not being able to cc enemies well enough, not being able to properly tank, enemies being too tough - stem from one main problem: picking on someone your own size. If you're having such problems, it just means they're beyond your current level and equipment. It's as simple as that.
Like many other players, I struggled in Fort Joy during the first 4 levels or so. I figured I was just not doing it right. This game generally requires "street smart" to avoid things getting messed up and frustration, in general. But I'm sure you know that, since you're a veteran of the first game. It's just that this game is very different from the first one, so I'd say you just need some time adjusting your approaches. I believe the game gets easier and easier for most people. It never gets *really* hard anymore after a certain point which is quite early.
As a side note, enemies ignoring your tank completely all the time is actually a bigger problem with the entire game. There isn't a reliable way to manipulate the targeting of enemies in this game. Unless you're sending in one single character while everyone else stays outside of combat. Later on in the game, when everyone has a teleport-like ability, you're just going to forget all about the idea of "having a dedicated tank so that he can soak up damage".
the fact that nearly every conversation ends up in a fight
I admit, at certain points, I would be like, "but we both know it always ends the same", while clicking through the dialog, not really caring exactly what either party is saying. Dialogs in such encounters are probably there to give you some extra depth to the experience. They're meant to end in bloodshed.
It's like every step has to be taken with extreme caution
If you think about it, while you're inside Fort Joy in particular, you're prisoners in a very restricted area. Tension is high. Also, pretty much no one in there really cares whether you're right or wrong, or whether you're dead or alive. So the fact that most encounters end badly, or one single misstep messes everything up, does make sense. Later on in the game, there are in fact many encounters that can end either way depending on your approach.
Somehow I find myself moving it constantly because there's always, always some foreground object blocking my sight
I literally had to rotate the camera nonstop. I had to "experiment" with keyboard control quite a bit to make my life easier. I ended up assigning Q and E to clockwise and counterclockwise rotation. Luckily for me, I adapted quickly.
I can't right click the popup box to send an item to wares or read a book without picking it up
But you *can* do that, though. At least reading something without picking it up.
The first thing I do when I come to my workplace is put some Kirill Pokrovsky music, particularly from DOS1
As far as music goes, all I'm gonna say is, the kind of music that Kirill Pokrovsky made is simply otherworldly. No seriously, I wouldn't bat an eyelash if I found out he actually went to some sort of alternate universe to compose his music. I've been listening to Divine Divinity's OST for years ever since I managed to get my hands on it in 2009, and certain tracks always give me chills every single time I listen to them. While D:OS2's music is alright on its own, there isn't much point comparing it and previous titles' music. This is pretty much a given.
I wish there were a mod to modify the internal music into the DOS1 one
It won't be quite the same thing, but what you can do is muting music in game while playing DOS1 music in a media player outside the game.
Now it's just "I yield to none!" every time I cast something, even when I just create rain or heal someone
Yes, those get repetitive pretty quickly. Just learn to ignore them.
