Needs for Men and Women:
I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of
men and women differ so much. And I never have figured
out the whole Mars & Venus thing.
And, I never have figured out why men think with their
head and women with their heart. And, I never yet have
figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown
into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I
do".
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she
eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want
you to hold me." I said, "WHAT?" So she says the words
that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She
explains that I must not be in tune with her
emotional needs as a Woman.
I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally
realize that nothing is going to happen that night, so
I went to bed.
The very next day we went shopping at a big unnamed
department store. I walked around while she tried on
three very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide
which one to take, so I told her to take all three of
them.
She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth
$200 each to which I say "OK".
And then we go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a
set of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so
excited. She must have thought that I was one wave
short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I
think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis
bracelet because she doesn't even play tennis. I
think I threw her for a loop when I told her that
it was "OK."
She was almost sexually excited from all of this and
you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm
ready to go, let's go to the cash register."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No,
honey. I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."
You should have seen her face ...it
went completely blank. I then said, "Really honey! I
just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And
just when she had this look like she was going to
kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my
financial needs as a Man."
I figure that I should be having sex again sometime
during Spring 2018
maybe jokes isn't a good idea, this is long! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

[color:"#33cc3"]Jurak'sRunDownShack!
Third Member of Off-Topic Posters
Defender of the [color:"green"]PIF.
[/color] Das Grosse Grüne Ogre!!! [/color]