here's another long one, but funny stuff!

Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
- Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.
What’s the difference between elephants and plums?
- Plums are purple, elephants aren’t
What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
- "Look, a herd of elephants in the distance"
What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses in the distance?
- Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.
What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
- "Look! A herd of plums in the distance" (Jane is colorblind)
Why do elephants paint their nuts red?
- So they can hide in cherry trees.
Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
- See, it works.
Why is it dangerous to go into the cherry orchards at noon?
- Because that's when the elephants jump out of the trees.
Why are pygmies so small?
- Because they go through the cherry orchards at noon.
What's that brown stuff between an elephant's toes?
- Slow pygmies.
How did Tarzan die?
- Picking cherries.
What’s the loudest noise in the jungle?
- Monkeys eating cherries.
Why did the monkey fall out of the cherry tree?
- It was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the cherry tree?
- It was stapled to the first monkey.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the cherry tree?
- Monkey see monkey do.
How does an elephant get down from a cherry tree?
- It doesn’t, it gets down from a duck.
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
- To stamp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
- To stamp out flaming ducks
How do you get an elephant in a fridge?
- Open door, insert elephant, close door.
How do you know if there was an elephant in the fridge?
- Footprints in the butter.
How do you get a giraffe in the fridge?
- open door, remove elephant, insert giraffe, close door.
How do you shoot a blue elephant?
- With a blue elephant gun, of course.
How do you shoot a red elephant?
- You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
How do you shoot a green elephant?
- Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
- Ever seen a yellow elephant?
What is grey and not there?
- No elephants.