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Subject: 15 Things to do at Wal-Mart



15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3 Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4 Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, ' Code 3' in housewares . and see what happens.

5 Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6 Move a ' CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7 Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8 When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask ' Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9 Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10 While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

11 Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12 In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13 Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!"

14 When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

( And; last, but not least!)

15 Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

@ Mea =>

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" />

Too Good!!!

Kyra_Ny <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" />

I used to know a site (who desided to quit ) with two funny lists in the same style. One what called "fun in the elevator" and the other one was called "the art of annoying others". Both really funny. "When someone enters the elevator, look suspiciouslly at him, then say "You're one of THEM" and place youself as far away as possible from him".

Übereil

The Duck.....not so funny

A man walked into his house with a duck under his arm and said, "This is the pig I've been shagging".

His wife said, "That's not a pig it's a duck!"

The man says, "I was talking to the duck!"

Once upon a time there was a man who whanted a green ping-pong ball for his birthday. (Ping-gong= table tennis.) He had allways wished for a green ping-pong ball at his birthday, but never gotten one.
When he was five he got a (what do you get when you're five?) Actionman figure (I havn't been five for a LONG time. And I know that sentence beggs to be made fun of...).
When he was seven he got a bike. When he was ten he got a TV. When he was 15 he got a moped (you have to be fifteen in order to drive one here. In Sweden). When he was 18 he got a car (rich parents...). He got a whole lot of nice stuff, but he never got a green ping-pong ball. He was a bit pissed becase of that...
At 25 he got a (what do you get when you're twentyfive? Rich parents..) villa. The parents where a bit sick of him STILL hanging around at home...
At 30 he got a nice vase. At 35 he got a new car. At 40 his patrents died and he heritaget a WHOLE lot of money, so from now on gifts where only sumpolic. But he still didn't get a green ping-pong ball. No, he got vases, flowers, booze, golfclubs and a lot of not too nice stuff. And now he was 70. He was getting old. But he still whanted a a green ping-pong ball.
His nephue (who was five, and didn't whant a green ping-pong ball, since he was normal...) asked him why he allways whanted a green ping-pong ball. The man said:
"Well you see" he started, then he ate a piece of fish. A bone stuck in his throat, and it choked him to death.

Übereil

I don't get it.

Mission accomplished!

Übereil

That's not funny. It's very very sad... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif" alt="" />

Pepole's supposed to be pissed because they didn't find out why he whanted a green ping-pong ball <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif" alt="" />! What's wrong with you guys???

Übereil

Because you doidn't give us a reason to care about the green ping-pong ball.

Nice to know you're just trying to piss people off... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/disagree.gif" alt="" />

The reason you would whant to know why he whanted a green ping-pong ball is because you DON'T know why he whants one. What other reason should there be?

Übereil

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

“Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.”

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit. Went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the checkbook. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds,do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework. Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said:

“Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."

if a woman would do that all day the house would be very clean, but nonetheles a very good joke

@ Lynn: A quite good joke. (If I suck up REALLY good she might reveal something about dd2 <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/idea.gif" alt="" />) That's right, a REALLY GOOD JOKE! I HAVN'T HEARD A BETTER JOKE IN ALL OF MY LIFE <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />. (Better put in a laugh here to make it more believable) <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> (good, Über <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />).

Übereil

What Lynn was pointing out is a House wives work is never really appreciated and it is a no thank job.

How many of you, who are married, notice when your wife cleans the house and thanks her for it?
How many of you thank your moms who do all these things for you.
How many of you have said thank you to your wife or mom for doing the dishes, making the bed, or doing the laundry?

I guess you all don’t really appreciate your mom or wives very much do you.

I know I’m on cloud nine when I’m thanked for doing the house work.

And instead of making a rebuttal to what I just wrote, why don’t you bring joy to your moms or wives heart and tell them thank you.


Kyra_Ny <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Err Lynn do you happen to know any of these women that are not married ?
Please any submissions to email address, will fly them to australia no mater where they are now <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Yes I do! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

@ Kyra: acually (stupid F11!), in my house it's my father who does all the housework (cooking not counted). And whives working at home is in Sweden very rare. Sweden is in some places counted as the world's most equal country when it comes to men/whomen. They even force the men to be at home with newborn babies half of the time while the whomen is at work (even though no one of them whant's it that way...) <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" /> (...).

Übereil

Just like penguins...

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" />

That's pretty good. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

Fafnir