Larian Studios Forums General Chat Chat (Anything) did we do jokes already?

i've got my sources. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shhh.gif" alt="" />

No, it's not on the net. I have to write it myself,but it will be too dirty for the forum... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" />

What do you call a homosexual dinosaur?...... <span class='standouttext'>Spoiler : </span><span class='spoiler'> Megasoreass </span>


What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?....... <span class='standouttext'>Spoiler : </span><span class='spoiler'>Lickalotapuss </span>

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/alien.gif" alt="" />

Ok, will somebody please help me to get back in my seat??? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> Can't
stop
laughing

@ Gal -> now u know the devastating comedic power of Jurak. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

Oh, the peanut sat on the railroad track,
His heart was all a flutter.
The choo-choo train came down the track,
Toot,tooot, peanut butter.



What?



That wasn't funny. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Tsel <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/silly.gif" alt="" />

Nuts

A guy goes into the bar and sits down and orders a drink. Other than the bartender, there's no one else in the place. All of a sudden he hears a voice that says, "Nice suit." He looks around and doesn't see anyone and the bartender looks busy washing some glasses. A little while later the same voice says, "Nice Tie." The guy looks around again and doesn't see anyone. He finally asks the bartender if he just said something.

"No," replied the bartender, "it wasn't me. It was probably the peanuts though. They're complimentary."

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

Now that's a good one! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />
unfortionaly i can't translate this to my language, because it will be lost in the translation.

^^^ <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> LadySarah <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> ^^^


There were three strings walking down the street and they decided to go into a bar for a drink.
The first string goes in and asks for a drink.
The bartender yells, "hey! we don't serve strings around here, get out!"
The second string hears the story and says, "let me give it a try."
Walks in, the bartender immediately yells, "hey you, string!
I just told your buddy, we don't serve your kind in here, get out!"
The third string hears this, gets a scissors, cuts himself in half, ties himself back together, and then roughs up one end.
He then walks into the bar, the bartender says, "Hey! You're not one of those strings that's been hanging around here are you?"
The string replies, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot!"

Get it, A Frayed Knot!



What?



That wasn't funny neither?

Tsel <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/silly.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

Hmmm... I didnt' find this funny... Maybe that's because I'm listening to Joy Division... No, whait! It's because I havn't seen Star Treck, yes!

Übereil

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> Well???, Are you dumb?

I'm dumb, since I didn't realize what he was asking for in the first question <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/puppyeyes.gif" alt="" />...

Übereil

hehe
got all 3 right the first time. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other

One was blind and the other couldn't see
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A deaf policeman heard the noise
Came and shook the life out of the two dead boys
If you don't believe this story’s true,
Ask the blind man he saw it too!

Tsel <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Well, I must be very dumb, since I lost five minutes of my life to listen to something stupid as that!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />



Not bad, I'm afraid <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen.” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “That driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" />

This is probably the first time I really have just started cracking up at something online--> and really used the rofl sign.. Damn question number 3! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" />

For all the women out there! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Bad marriage?
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!"

"Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!"

"I know, I know!" said Joanna. "But what am I going to do with the BODY?"

I asked myself that very same question only a few days ago... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shhh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" />


What's bald, has big clacking teeth, and wobbles?
A zombie baby wearing the dentures of an elderly woman whose brains it just ate.

Forty Thieves

Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences.

The first man said, " my wife was reading a "Tale of Two Cities" and she gave birth to twins."

"That?s funny", the second man remarked, "my wife was reading 'the Three Musketeers' and she gave birth to triplets."

The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to rush home!"

When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali baba and the Forty Thieves!!!"