i wouldnt call ed a great visionary of the fantasy genre realy.
and yes, his incest stuff is creepy.
but george rr martin also di dit so its not like that stuff cannot get accepted in mainstream fantasy.
Regardless hes got his fetishes and thats ok. But i wouldnt call the elminster books high quality fantasy fiction.
On romance: its hard to do right, because those romances youve mentioned? they tend to tie into the plot somehow.
RPG romances almost never do this (because the developers cannot realy predict hwo does and does not romance whom)
