Oh dear it is beginning ....


Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were chatting one day when
Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in all
the world."
Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world."
Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the ugliest person in the world."

They decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to check their
claims.

Sleeping Beauty went first and came out looking deliriously happy. "It's
official, I am the most beautiful girl in the world"
Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant, "I am officially the smallest
person in the world."

Sometime later, Quasimodo came out looking confused and asking "Who the hell
is Camilla Parker Bowles?"

***********************************************************************************************
One day the-Prince-who-wanted-to-be-a-tampon was driving around his Mother's
estate when he accidentally ran over her favourite corgi.

The poor unfortunate dog was crushed to a pulp!
The Prince got out of his car, surveyed the squidge that once was a corgi,
sat down on the grass and started crying.
The whole world was already against him and now his mother would be angry as
well.

Noticing a partially buried lamp by his foot he dug it up, gave it a wipe
and, dear reader, low and behold, a genie appeared.

"You've freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment", said the genie,
for this I grant you one wish".

"Well", said the Prince. "I have all the money and material things that I
need, but let me show you the dog".
As they walked over to the splattered remains of the dog the Prince asked
"Do you think you can bring it back to life"?
The Genie looked carefully at the remains and gently shook his head.
"This body is far too gone for even me to bring back to life, isn't there
anything else you would like"?

The Prince thought for a moment, reached into his pocket and took out two
photographs.

"I used to be married to this beautiful woman called Diana", said the Prince
showing the genie the first photograph.
"But now I love this woman called Camilla". He showed the genie the second
photograph.
"You see that Camilla isn't beautiful at all, so do you think you can make
Camilla as beautiful as Diana"?

The genie studied the two photographs and after a few moments said: "Let's
have another look at that dog".
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Mea Culpa's Demesne Note; artwork for Avatar courtesy of NWN and CEP Old Elven Saying: "Never say Never if you're gonna live forever!!!" "I didn't do it, it wasn't my fault"