Larian Studios Forums General Chat Chat (Anything) did we do jokes already?

Does it shows that we Belgians here have a plain form of humour?

What's green and jumps up and down?
<span class='standouttext'>Spoiler : </span><span class='spoiler'>A pea in an elevator </span>

What's brown and jumps up and down?
<span class='standouttext'>Spoiler : </span><span class='spoiler'> That same pea a few weeks later! </span> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
I don't get it.
Why can't it just jump up and down the stairs?
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

speaking of strange humor does any one know where this comes from


bonno estenté

ethethethethethethe thethethethe thethethethethe Chris waddle

Scortio!

Boutros Boutros gali


Radiant sir
Ohh suit you sir

Ow bugger


best british humor show since monty python and faulty

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" />

I'm 258.369% sure I seen that.

But I seen so many... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" />
The office?
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Hobbies of Darth Vader

10) Making prank "heavy breathing" phone calls

9) Sneaking up behind Star Destroyer crew members, covering their eyes, and demanding "Guess who?"

8) Practicing throwing Palpatine doll down pits

7) Genealogy

6) Using the force to learn to juggle

5) Mortal Kombat 5436

4) Using mind-reading ability to win at Battleship

3) Late nights with a pain droid

2) Sending anonymous love-notes to Mon Mothma

1) Checking Imperial Deli to see if they've named a sandwich after him yet

close it was the fast show

Thankx Morbo... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

If I ever need a memory again, (misplaced my old one... sometime... somewhere... long ago) I'll call you.
k?
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hmm ... *looks in drawer* thought so I have some old fastpace memory laying around its only 64Mb but you are welcome to it <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

it's not the size that is important it's the speed. (I rather have 512 cache on the CPU then 512MB extra in a slot)

now he clearly needs to OC. But be carefull not to do to much as his head could go up in flames (if there is no overheating protection)

my cooling system is built in........through my ears... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

Hmm becareful in that Jacuzzi then huh it is entirely possible you would drown by getting water thru your ears, seeing how they are shapped <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" />

How do you make a Cat go Woof!
.
.
.
.
Well, first you need to get a can of Petrol......

and how can you make a dog do a cat sound?

first put the Dog in the freezer
then take out the circular saw and start spliting it in half..
mmmiiiiaaaaaww !

Bean! That is awful!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Here are some guidelines according to dogs

VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show your concern.

BARKING: Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark a lot. Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting their house. Especially late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. There is no more secure feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the middle of the night and hearing your protective bark, bark, bark.

LICKING: Always take a BIG drink from your water dish immediately before licking your human. Humans prefer clean tongues. Be ready to fetch your human a towel.

HOLES: Rather than digging a BIG hole in the middle of the yard and upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over the yard so they won't notice. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on one side of each hole, maybe they'll think it's gophers. There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your part to help correct this problem.

THE ART OF SNIFFING: Humans like to be sniffed - Everywhere. It is your duty, as the family dog, to accommodate them.

HOUSEBREAKING: Housebreaking is very important to humans, so break as much of the house as possible.

Computer Problems

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say, the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause."
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller:

Customer Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

CS: "What sort of trouble?"

C: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

CS: "Went away?"

C: "They disappeared."

CS: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

C: "Nothing."

CS: "Nothing?"

C: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

CS: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

C: "How do I tell?"

CS: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

C: "What's a sea-prompt?"

CS: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

C: "There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

CS: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

C: "What's a monitor?"

CS: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

C: "I don't know."

CS: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

C: "Yes, I think so."

CS: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

C: ".......Yes, it is."

CS: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

C: "No."

CS: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

C: ".......Okay, here it is."

CS: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

CS: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

C: "No."

CS: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

C: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

CS: "Dark?"

C: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

CS: "Well, turn on the office light then."

C: "I can't."

CS: "No? Why not?"

C: "Because there's a power outage."

CS: "A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

C: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

CS: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

C: "Really? Is it that bad?"

CS: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

C: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

CS: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

If Quizzes are Quizzical,
What are Tests?? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> Oh, good ole George Carlin. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" />



There's nothing worse than a snotty doctor's receptionist who insists
you tell her what is wrong in a room full of other patients.
Maybe some of us have experienced something similar.
You got to love the way this old guy handled it....

An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded doctor's office.
As he approached the desk, the receptionist said,
"Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my penis," he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said,
"You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The receptionist replied,
"You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people.
You should have said there is something wrong with your ear
or something and discussed the problem further with the doctor in private.

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of
others, if the answer could embarrass anyone." The man walked out,
waited several minutes and then re-entered The receptionist smiled
smugly and asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her
advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"

"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.

The doctor's office erupted in laughter.


Tsel <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" />

Hard? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/freak.gif" alt="" />

A big corporation recently hired several cannibals. "You are all part of our team now," said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees." The cannibals promised they would not. 4 weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard, and I'm quite satisfied with you. However, one of our Secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals all shook their heads no. After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals asked the Others, "Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?" A hand raised hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals continued, "You fool...! For 4 weeks we've been eating supervisors and no one noticed anything, but noooooo, you had to go and eat someone important!

That reminds me...
I'm hungry
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/freak.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shhh.gif" alt="" />