An FBI agent is interviewing a bank teller after the same bandit had robbed the bank 3 times successively.

"Did you notice anything special about the man? I mean, did he ever change his appearance?" asks the agent.

"Yes," replies the teller. "He was better dressed each time."
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Phil and Jill had been married for many years but now were in divorce court.
The judge asked, 'Phil, is it true that the last three years of your marriage, you did not speak to Jill?'
Phil replies, 'Yes Judge, that is correct.'
'And how do you explain this unusual conduct?' the judge inquires.
Phil replies, 'I didn't want to interrupt her Your Honor.'
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A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick-Rule."

The lawyer asked, What is the Texas Three-Kick-Rule?."

The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on this belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "OK, you old coot! now, it's my turn." The old farmer smiled and said, "No I give up, you can have the duck.

~Setharmon~ >>[halfelven]<<