>Pathfinder kingmaker is diffuclt
yes
but the difficulty is highly scaleable.
the spider cave is extremeley infaous, because thats a mechanic that relay doesnt work well.
But its also optional.

Its a game you gotta approach with a different mindset.
Cheese it.
like any other CRPG, just stack buffs on yourself, sneak, summon hordes of stupid creatures to bog them down, fear them, use combat maneuvers if you can.

As for character creation
for one i gotta adress this one
>4e was a barbie dress up game
Oh no! Magic items that do somehting beyond giving you +1 to hit, jesus christ how terrible.

And in earnest, hope that they dont adapt 5e too hard.
ive recently starteda 5e game as a player again. Oh boy, i already regret it.

I hope you like not getting any feats till level 4 unless you pick vuman.
I hope you enjoy not having any options at character creation at all. I hope you enjoy basically not having a proper class till level 3 on a lot of characters.
The character customization in 5e is not just lackluster, in early levels it might aswell not exist