A Frenchman, and Englishman, and a New Yorker were all in Africa on a safari when they got separated from their group and were captured by a tribe of cannibals. While the three of them are tied up, the chief comes up to them and says, "We are going to kill you and eat you, and use your skins to make canoes, but to show we aren't entirely without mercy, we will let you each choose how you want to die."

The Englishman says "give me a gun," and shoots himself in the head. The Frenchman asks for a sword and runs himself through. The New Yorker asks for a fork. Then he begins to repeatedly stab himself all over hundreds of times till he is covered in blood. The Chief looks at him and asks, "What the hell are you doing?"

The New Yorker throws the fork at him and says "F*** you and your g*d*mned canoe!"

"I've never been a lover, I've always been a fighter. It's high time I fight for love instead of the usual crap reasons I fight for, like my own pride" -- A wise guy