Larian Studios Forums General Chat Chat (Anything) did we do jokes already?

For the little cynic in all of us.
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>You have two choices in life:
>>> >>You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you
>>> >>were
>>> >>dead.
>>> >>
>>> >>At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing
>>> >>your
>>> >>wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
>>> >>"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
>>> >>
>>> >>A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
>>> >>"Husband Wanted".
>>> >>Next day she received a hundred letters.
>>> >>They all said the same thing:
>>> >>"You can have mine."
>>> >>
>>> >>When a woman steals your husband, there is no
>>>better revenge than
>>> >>to let
>>> >>her keep him.
>>> >>
>>> >>A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished
>>> >>
>>> >> A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to
>>> >>get
>>> >>married?"
>>> >>Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
>>> >>
>>> >>A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a
>>> >>man
>>> >>doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
>>> >>Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
>>> >>
>>> >>Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness
>>> >>was
>>> >>until I got married, and by then, it was too late."
>>> >>
>>> >>Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
>>> >>
>>> >>If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to
>>>every
>>> >>word
>>> >>you say -- talk in your sleep.
>>> >>
>>> >>Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
>>> >>thinking
>>> >>they had no faults at all.
>>> >>
>>> >>First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
>>> >>Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
>>> >>
>>> >>A Woman's Prayer:
>>> >>"Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and
>>> >>to
>>> >>forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I
>>> >>pray for
>>> >>Strength I'll just beat him to death "
>>> >>
>>> >>AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!
>>> >>
>>> >>Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine
>>> >>children. A
>>> >>blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives,
>>> >>they find
>>> >>it
>>>overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit
>>> >>onto the
>>> >>bus.
>>> >>
>>> >>So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while,
>>> >>the
>>> >>husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man
>>> >>as he
>>> >>taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a
>>> >>piece of
>>> >>rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me
>>> >>crazy."
>>> >>
>>> >>The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of
>>> >>YOUR
>>> >>stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the hell up."

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