There was this big wedding in Simi Valley recently, and just before the vows were spoken, the bride turned to the assembled friends and relatives:

"I want to thank you all for being here and for the beautiful gifts you've given."

She turned to her beaming parents:

"I want to thank my mother and father for all they've done for me."

She turned to her husband-to-be:

"And I want to thank you for sleeping with my maid-of-honor last night!"

The bride then deposited her bouquet in the groom's face and stormed out of the church.


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[Collected on the Internet, 1995]

If any of you guys out there have ever thought you have balls, forget about it. This is a true story that just happened at a wedding at Clemson. A buddy of mine from my baseball team knows a guy that was at the wedding.

This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and groom's families for coming.

To thank everyone for coming and bring gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a gift from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair was a manila envelope. He said that was his gift to everyone, and told them to open it.

Inside the manila envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride. (He must have gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail them.) After he stood there and watched people's reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "Fork you." He turned to the bride and said, "Fork you," and then said, "I'm outta here".

He got the marriage annulled the next day.

While most of us would have broken it off immediately after we found out about the affair, this guy goes through with it anyway. His revenge: making the bride's parents pay for a 300-guest wedding and reception, letting everyone know exactly what did happen, and trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of friends, family, grandparents, etc.

This is his world, we just live in it.

[color:"#33cc3"]Jurak'sRunDownShack!
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