If I may draw the comparison to Dragon Age Origins (while wincing and feeling particularly guilty for the good ol' compare x to o sound of that), I think the problem really is in the pacing. The reason I bring up DA:O is because I have felt the sensation of romanceable whiplash to this extreme once before, and it was in that game. Say the right things and ask all available questions as a female MC of any race or class and you can have Alistair head over heels in love 100+ Approval on night one.
This was the same feeling from an almost reversed effect. I'm playing a good aligned character, thus only Gale and Wyll have warmed up to my MC, barely verging on affection that suggests they could be more. Asterion, Lae'zel and Shadowheart all range from hating my guts to neutral - only because Shadowheart hates my guts but loves when I pet the dog. But then, out of nowhere, all three are extremely interested in boning the good cleric.
I got the same feeling and I think it's dissonance with the pacing in both cases.
Either all that or the flirtation / high approval state scenes are samples left in while the low approval alternatives are yet to be implemented; much like how Wyll and Gale lack equivelent love scenes to the rest as of now, if I'm not mistaken.
Either way, I think it's definitely a big thing to consider. You're right than the romance writing could do with some tweaking.
