"Sir! I do believe you are drunk!"
"Indeed I am madam, but in the morning I'll be sober, wheras you will still be ugly!"

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about!"

" Road rage, air rage. Why should I be forced to divide my rage into seperate categories? To me, it's just one big, all-around, everyday rage. I don't have time for distinctions. I'm too busy screaming at people. " -George Carlin