Had the problem with Lae'zel and Astarion at the same time recently. I guess it is a bug.
I tried reloading a save right before this camp-massacre happened to me and checked how both of them felt about the main character. Both were still set to neutral. After ending the day again, everything was normal.
I had the problem with Lae'zel at least two times before but didn't check, what happens, if I loaded a save-game. I just guessed I messed up and created new characters. xD
