As a long time DM, this game makes me furious. Not because I don't like a good challenge, but because it feels like the game is actively being inconsistent with 5e rules, punishing players and all-in-all making an environment hostile to players, especially those who want to play a heroic character.
- every. damn. NPC. hates you. Why? Why does this have to be so damn oppressive? Where is the levity, the gratitude, the derring-do? Why is everyone such a dick? It doesn't make me want to solve quests because the people who give them to me are such c- well, you know.
- goblins have triple their MM health, loads of alchemists fire. It feels like the DM is cheating for no good reason.
- surfaces. surfaces everywhere. go away.
- the game wastes my time with big 'set piece' battles like the one at the gates of the druid grove. Lots of NPCs fighting lots of NPCs. I can't ambush or anything because a cutscene forces me into combat so far away from the action I spend most moves running. Just use a cutscene, please.
- most fights are so difficult that you need party optimisation, which means you'll need to be a cleric or have shadowheart and that's that.
- picking on low-armor backline targets or knocked out ones. Seriously, I get that in real life monsters will probably do this, but in gameplay the reality is people are going to just give up trying to have low armored casters in their party at all.
- and after all this, theres... nothing. no loot. no helpful items. everything seems empty.
This game has great potential but right now it feels like it is a great adventure in the hands of a shitty neckbeard DM who hates you.
I find most of the npcs are appropriately respectful, the rest don't usually last very long.

So a lot of this probably depends on race and class. Right now, where are you going to find levity? How much sidetracking are you going to do for this gratitude? You have a tadpole in your head that needs to come out now before you are no longer you. Everyone else can wait unless they might be able to help you, even a good aligned player should recognise the dangers of what this tadpole is going to do and not want to inflict it on the world. If you are constantly running around for others right now then it becomes stupid like FO4 with the "my baby!! must find my baby!! but let me just solve all the problems in the world and save a lot of fools and build settlements and.... but my baby!!
Tactical play is best when dealing with the goblins, not a straight up fight. The health makes it tedious but not sure how to balance this otherwise.
I agree the surfaces thing is a bit much. Makes it too easy and certain cantrips too powerful. The effects should not last as long as they do either, especially after combat.
Could maybe move the trigger to when you get closer to the grove. Problem I have with big battles is the length of time, enemy turns take entirely too long.
Again, tactical play makes it much easier. Find the high ground as much as possible. Climb up somewhere and shoot the ladder behind you so no one can get to you. Even if they change the AI to be more realistic when they can't find the player, fights are entirely doable solo or at least without a cleric. Potions are easily found/bought, everyone can use scrolls, food is everywhere.
Targeting the mage or healer is logical. Mage Armour exists, use it or play a warlock or race with armour proficiency. Have your wizard save all the scrolls for it and use for big fights so they don't have to waste a spell slot.
Not sure what you consider good loot but my current character has a lot of really useful stuff that actually fits the concept I made for him.
I don't get the DM hating you feel at all from this, but I am used to having to come up with creative solutions to what look like no win solutions in pretty much all games rather than having everything predictable and easy. Things definitely have room for improvement however.