Some super judgy people in this thread. What's wrong with some fantasy fulfillment. Isn't that the point to video games... especially... fantasy ones...? I have a super happy marriage and almost exclusively play games that feature romance options. It's just what I like. Some people love guns and shooting and fps games are great for them. I don't but different strokes for different folks.
I can't speak for others but for me I just use it as more evidence of poor characterization and poor writing. I argued someone to standstill over their theory and was waiting for their response to get them in a catch 22 where I would bring up characterization and quote a few authors regarding the issue but sadly he didn't take the bait. I am vehemently against the necessity for romance options and the inclusion of sex scenes is top tier cringe.
That said, I think the romances as of Act one could use some improvements but I don't think they're inherently bad or unrealistic. Some are easy, some are not. I think it would be more immersive if, during the party, only characters you've already expressed interest in should ask you for quality time. Having a few flirtatious options in earlier conversations should establish this. This way, people who don't want to participate in the romance element can ignore it altogether or people who only want to flirt with a specific gender can control their experience. Plus, having flirt options beforehand would make things feel more immersive. I also 100% think there should be a follow-up conversation to the camp scene. It's kind of strange that there isn't anything of the sort currently.
They are unrealistic and poorly written on the basis of them being homogenous. The only exemption to this is Shadowheart who is poorly written for other reasons. What you described in your post is the need for characterization which is almost completely absent from the characters outside of their one dimensional trope.
