I just think some people could care less if it's D&D, and some people obviously care very deeply if it's D&D. And both should have the options to make the game more or less D&D with a few simple configuration options at the start of the game.
I mean, some people are clearly not happy with anything in the game being D&D. So maybe give them the option to force the game to be more like how they would see it - again, as long it's all about choice.
I'm a big believer in player choice, but some things just aren't practical. The problem with offering an alternative combat system is opportunity cost, the developer hours it would take to not just program but completely balance and play-test the alternative system.
The D&D ruleset is already very complicated to program in a computer game, especially with regard to good enemy AI that knows how to use the rules effectively. Do we want the Larian devs spending more time programming an alternate ruleset and AI system, or spending that time to flesh out and quash bugs in the existing combat system? I'd prefer the latter, because I think we'll end up with a better game in the long run.
P.S. I still believe that many of the complaints about misses (not necessarily yours) are a result of players not understanding how Advantage-Disadvantage works in the game, especially with height differences. One thing the AI is really good at, is trying to use the height advantage to influence getting a better dice roll, and forcing the player group into a worse one.
