[SPOILERS AHEAD - both for BG3 and DOS2] Before reading my reply, note the following: I am completely green to this type of RPG games, even more so with DnD. I've played (and very much enjoyed) DOS2 which is why I am here. So do consider that this is from my newbie perspective..........
Your whole comment is very interesting, insightful, and quite surprising for someone with so little experience in the genre. I want to address what you wrote in the same way you wrote it, based on parts.
Part 1 - completely agree. I love the bg3 companions, and consider them a highlight of the game currently.
But I don't think it is about not caring, rather than Larian just wanting too much without being able to "finish" it
I think this small comment is phrasing what I wanted to say better than I did. I said it before and I'll say it again - Larian is great company full of passionate people, but I can't escape the feeling they are too ambitious for their own good. It's fine when they make their own games, but when they tackle project like bg3, I think a little more conservative approach might have been better, unless they will get more resources (which right now might be possible).
DOS2 (skipping the stuff about Red Prince and Sebille interactions crashing together, most people who played DOS2 knows about it):
* In certain conversations, such as the one with the Lohar dude (Beast > player), the Doctor (Beast > player), Alexander (Ifan - unless resorted to combat - > Player) and the Shadow Prince (Sebille > Player), you gotta interact with them TWICE to actually get somewhere in the conversation. First it has a follower dialogue and then it has a casual dialogue with you like the previous one never happened. Having a proper conversation that actually includes all part at once according to flags (like you described Bioware having?) would seem much better.
Oh yes thank you. It happened to me multiple times when I played dos2 and it was super immersion breaking, but I couldn't remember specific examples. The good news are that so far I didn't came across something that bad in bg3, but there are many other examples, and for a game this big it's simply unacceptable.
About part 3 - when say design philosophy, I mean it's a priorities thing. But I don't rule out the option they just did too much stuff without option to deal with it. Prefer to give them credit and assume they just prefer to sacrifice some parts of the story immersion and give us more crazy gameplay choices in exchange.
Thank you for your comment it was very interesting.