I don't think the meta-gaming argument works since BG3 does a great job of giving you in-game warnings whenever you are about to come into "set-pieces". If you're roleplaying an avoidant character (i.e. a sneaky rogue), you're constantly given heads up to avoid things without the need for metagaming.
For example:
1) The Grove Entrance Battle - the game tells you there is shouting up ahead. Most people investigate because they are curious (NPCs encourage it), but there is no need for your character to head that way, especially if they are paranoid avoidant. You can skip the entire Grove area if your curiosity takes you elsewhere.
*snip*
I feel like I've seen posts indicating that you can only skip the Grove fight if you do something precise (like jumping over a cutscene trigger or something?) If this is true, then this requires a more-than-reasonable amount of metagaming to do...
(The rest of your post I only skimmed but basically agree with)
