you need to use the sneak attack ability, to do sneak attacks.
don't ask me why. larian hated rogues probably, so they nerfed them to hell and back.
I did use the sneak attack ability. But I guess I figured out the problem. The game allows you to do sneak attack even if it does not work. So you have to make sure that you have one ally standing really within 1.5m of that enemy. Or you think you can sneak attack, but when your ally is 1.6m away you don't deal extra damage.
And it is really rediculous that they nerfed sneak attack damage.
And it is strange that you seem to have to use some exploits to have a chance in battle.