I think a big part of the problem with the romances right now boils down to the fact that all of the companions ACT like they want to sleep with you, even when they don't. In my opinion, it makes sense for Astarion to pursue you regardless of approval, because him and Lae'zel seem to want something more akin to a one-night stand (even if it might develop into something else later).
The problem is that everyone else will act jealous of this, even if they don't have high approval and even if you haven't triggered their previous scenes that are necessary for the romance. Ex. Wyll - he never got along with my character, I had him at neutral, and yet he sounded sad about the fact that I chose to spend the night with someone else. Then when I made the suggestion that he and I could get it on, he turned me down - even though his initial reaction was jealousy.
Same with Gale. His reaction to you spending the night with someone else is the same whether or not you've gotten the weave scene required to trigger his romance. He'll act jealous, then turn you down if you suggest something. Lae'zel's scene about "you'd wish you could sleep with me" was strange too, since she had never been flirty beforehand (only scene I can think of is when she called me "delightful" for betraying Astarion lmao).
I'd think that if Larian rewrote some of the celebration scenes to align more with how the companions actually percieved us (aka not have them sulk about us being with someone else when they don't even like us, except for if it makes sense for the character, I suppose), it'd feel less forced? Maybe add alternate friendship/rival scenes at the party for them, if you haven't met the conditions for their romance or don't have high enough approval.
I think that approval should play a bigger role overall in the interactions. Right now it rarely changes anything (apart from some of Gale's scenes, I think) up until the party. If the companions' responses were to gradually change to more positive/negative as their approval gets higher/lower (ex. when you ask "what do you think of me" to Shadowheart, having her respond "I wouldn't normally hang around you, but you'll do for now" when your approval is very high and the relationship is described as 'best friends' makes no sense to me). The only companion who currently has this is Astarion, and I hope the others will as well, with time.
Overall I'm very fond of the characters and I generally love romance and all kinds of relationships in games, but I have to agree that they feel odd so far in this game, even if I'm enjoying certain aspects of them.
