Day 9 – None of the fun of the fair

So this is what a carnival looks like. Not gonna lie it was pretty exciting, so much to see.. Imoen was pretty stoked too. I managed to reign in my slack-jawed look enough to do some buying and selling, I’d picked up a couple of spell scrolls which made me pretty sick to look at and I couldn’t wait to offload them. Necromancy I think, that is NOT my deal, oh no no. I do not like the idea one bit, who goes about playing with the dead? I kinda prefer making the corpses tbh, though now I have written that down it seems pretty odd. Anyway, no arcane necromancy for me, gnomes must be allergic or something.

[Linked Image]
Kinda how I expected it

There weren’t as many people at the carnival as I had thought there would be but people said that the mines had been “claiming lives” (euphemism). Must be a lot of dead if this is all that’s left. Things are more messed up here than I would have thought.

One weird thing that happened is we met some sort of carnival-mage who insisted on summoning an “exploding ogre” – unsurprisingly the ogre was pretty pissed off and attacked the mage, and us. Seemed like a rough way to go but I wasn’t about to get clobbered by some stupid ogre. We mest around the carnival for a couple of hours, it was nice to relax a bit.

I was pretty bored with the carnival by this point (there is only so much coconut throwing a girl can do) so the two of us walked the short way to Nashkel proper.

So we get towards Nashkel from the fair and I am FREAKING OUT. There’s this freaking red wizard just chilling on a bridge south of the village, looking all around like he’s looking for someone. I pulled Imoen backwards and we hid behind a shed or farm building thingy and he didn’t spot us. But this looked bee aye dee bad.

[Linked Image]
ffs

As we were walking very quickly away we bumped straight into some sort of village idiot talking to a mouse or something. The man seemed to have an intellect lower than a moron and when I told him I wasn’t going to go off on some “quest” to save some “witch” without payment he flipped out and attacked me with no warning! Is everyone outside of candlekeep a grade-A dunce and a psychopath?! Seriously, the guy only had 2 gold pieces on him as well. I told imoen that coming here was a shitty idea and guess who got proved right. And, that’s only the second time (the first was the red wizard looking for us). Because, well, I’ll get to it. I was just so pissed off about this cretin trying to attack me with his laughably oversized sword. MF-er didn’t even have a bounty notice, he was just a moron, wtf.

[Linked Image]
Leave. Us. Alone!

So I’m thinking that we will finally get to whatever sorry excuse for an inn this shitstain town has and some fat dude runs up to me calling me greywolf. I don’t know you, fuck off! Is what I actually said (whoops, cringe). Imoen has to literally restrain me. Damn I was pretty angry after the village idiot incident (I mean who kills a village idiot? I feel personally humiliated). Not my finest moment. But he did fuck off.

It was just endless, because then someone comes up asking me If will clear out the Nashkel mines. Like m8, a teenage girl and her younger sister and you think we look like we can clear out a freaking mine are you kidding me. Obviously we could, if we wanted to but we 100% do not look like a band of six manly mercenary types of whatever this myopic idiot mistook us for. I said “we’ll think about it” and pushed past him – I could see the tavern sign just ahead. Finally I was thinking.

So we go in a guess what, another damn assassin, this time some priestess. Me and Imoen noped out of there asap back into the village with her running after us waving a damn hammer around. We did the whole “save us” thing and some prat ran up and started trying to punch her, like with his HANDS, where the hell are the big men with swords when you need them?! I’d used up all my blindness spells (thanks earlier moron, geez) so Imoen burned through the whole of her magic missile wand putting this asshole in the ground. The punching kicking dude didn’t land a single hit. Pathetic (I told him this afterwards, he seemed pretty miffed).

[Linked Image]
bootleg Jackie chan moment

Anyway, I was more concerned with the bounty: she was trying to collect 680 gold pieces, wowzers. Someone is really really wanting me dead even more than before. Could my life get and worse??

[Linked Image]
yikeseroos

At least there was a bed waiting now. I need to calm down, this anger Is making me think funny. I prayed for respite, for clarity, for anything really.