This is endlessly entertaining. Good work!

The lines that amused me the most in the last few parts:


Originally Posted by alice_ashpool
I was filled with wizard tower envy

Sometimes sentimentality makes people act all funny (and generous).

So the Red Sheaf was a shitshow

I tried to bribe him but he was too stupid to know a good deal

But kill him we did (obviously or I would not be writing this duh)

in the inn (hehe)

So after she made “that” face, which she always does when she wants something

the long, boring, uncomfortable, tiring, dull, and also boring road south

this place is going to the dogs (literally in the case of gnolls)

Those flaming fists we met earlier are proving themselves to be utterly wank at doing anything around here

Arwen, defier of arrows

I’m not cruel, its just like, they were already dead, what do you want me to do, burst into tears?

I kinda prefer making the corpses tbh, though now I have written that down it seems pretty odd.

the mines had been “claiming lives” (euphemism)

I told imoen that coming here was a shitty idea and guess who got proved right

(I mean who kills a village idiot? I feel personally humiliated)

Like m8, a teenage girl and her younger sister and you think we look like we can clear out a freaking mine are you kidding me

like a band of six manly mercenary types of whatever this myopic idiot mistook us for

Pathetic (I told him this afterwards, he seemed pretty miffed)

bootleg Jackie chan moment