Larian Studios Forums Baldur's Gate III Baldur's Gate III - Suggestions & Feedback Asexuality in romances?

I'm not talking about getting rid of sex scenes completely (like Bioware did it with Sebastian) but give players a choice.
Not to hide the sex behind the scenes but to give the opportunity to refuse it without interrupting the romantic relationship. This is really important for a lot of people.don't need to replace anything, just add one line of dialogue for that at least and that's it. I don't think it takes a lot of resources.

There is some precedent for the idea, though in a completely different context.

In Baldur's Gate II, if you romanced Aerie, to continue it you had to refuse sex the first time she offered it, otherwise she would call off the relationship later.

On top of not having to do the horizontal tango to continue a relationship, I would love to see something like Aerie's romance arc where, with one companion's romance arc, you need to refuse to sleep with them the first time to continue it, preferably making it clear that they're desperate for sex for the wrong reason(s), like with Aerie

It will be up to the writers I guess.

Is Astarion asexual? Gale? Wyll? Shadowheart? Lae'zel?
Maybe some of them are, maybe some of them just aren't?
From what I have seen so far, the advance in romance is tied to "getting it on" with the characters inevitably.

I think Larian needs to give the players very visible options to advance also physically or only mentally, if wished for it.
Maybe this will not please Astarion or Lae'zel, but it will intrigue Wyll or Gale?
They should in any case not all be the same.

That would feel very shallow to me.

Considering how little of the population identifies as asexual and how many so-called asexuals are obsessed with sex I fail to see why this should be a priority at all. Especially if you want to stay true to the character's personality. Like someone else mentioned, I seriously doubt somebody like Astarion or Lae would be too interested in you if all you wanted to do was hold their hand and peck them on the cheek. Like the majority of people in this world with healthy libidos, sex is part of a romantic relationship. The only feasible way I can see this working would be to create a male and female asexual character which I imagine is unlikely for two reasons; first, people want options hence why every character in this game is bi instead of having a strict sexuality and second because why on earth would you create a character JUST to appease asexual people? A single game can't satisfy everyone. You're either going to have to fundamentally break the character to your will, ignore the romance aspect or skip the sex scene and pretend they watched Netflix instead.

Oh my God.
I don’t think Larian should create a separate character in order to please my preferences and the preferences of other people.
I don't want to close my eyes and imagine that nothing happened. I just want to have a CHOICE. Develop romantic relationships based on spiritual intimacy or not. End it all with sex for one night or not.

I have nothing against bisexual characters, but as you said, it may well be that Astarion will not be interested in women (for example). However, the game does not prevent the player from creating a female character and starting a romantic relationship. Once such a gesture was perceived with hostility in the community, now you are given a choice. Maybe developers should start taking their first steps towards asexuality?

But you do. O_o
Are you able to tell us what is wrong about it as it is?

I'm sorry? It's not same.

Based on the communication with Astarion and Lae, you can see that they WANT an intimate relationship. That's why making them asexual or giving them such a function (?) is weird.

Yes, this option can be given to the player and conditionally it is, even now in the romantic scene of Astarion you can say "This is not what I want" (or something similar?), but it OFFENDS HIM because HE WANTS it. That's what it's about. He has desires and he shows it.

He does not show that he would not like men or women... If he showed, as you say "for example", that he doesn't like women, and then slept with a female character, it would look bad, that's what it's about.

And right now he shows you that he really WANTS sex, and then you want him to react with HAPPINESS to the refusal to get it or get an alternative that he did not say a word about... you know what i mean?

It's hard for me to talk about the characters completely we only have the first act. But right now astarion and lae look very horny, and when you ask give an option for horny characters where they approves of a non-intimate relationship, it looks strange, as if you are changing some part of their personality.




I also agree with this. That's what I'm talking about. For some characters, this function looks natural, for some it doesn't. Not for everyone, you know?

I'm sorry but I don't think companies should cater so much to players. This game already has everyone be bisexual which i don't have a problem with. But adding in romances for everyone if the player wants to be asexual is a little odd. There should be one or two characters maybe that can be asexual but I don't think everyone should be.

If there will be an asexual romance then probably for a exotic race like dragonborn to avoid complains accusations of bestiality.

Guys are u reading what he wants to say???
He DOESN'T ask to change all characters to asexuals, he asks for a CHOICE to continue romance without sex-scene. Nobody wants to delete sex-part from romance u can still do it. He just wants for one dialogue line like "I'm sorry dude but now I'm not ready for THIS, u r still important for me blah blah blah..."
THA'S ALL. IT DOESN'T CHANGE THE CHARACTERS AT ALL
You guys are too hyperfixed on character's feelings, and you forget it's just a role-play game.
You don't have to be asexual not to want sex and u can have a lot of reason to say no. That's okay. And when your partner accept ur choice that is good healthy relationship with mutual respect and trust

THIS.

I mean.... If you have speak with animals up (which is magic that affects you, and not the creature you're interacting with, so you can't say they are influenced), then even Scratch passes the Harkness test... And doesn't spend a large portion of his energy acting superior towards you in one way or another.

*Ahem*


While I support the existence of dialogue lines to indicate your feelings on the matter as a potentially asexual, but not aromantic, character... the dialogue would need to be more than a throw away line - it would need to be a multi-line discussion, if we're being mature about this; characters may be fine with having a romantic but non-sexual relationship with your character, but given that some of them at least are already backstory or overt characterisation defined as being sexual people in some sense, they are likely going to have needs/wants that don't match that. Perhaps your character is okay with them pursuing those needs outside of your relationship; perhaps they won't be and that will lead to a break down; perhaps your character is okay meeting those needs for their romantic partner, even if they don't have the drive for it, because they want to 'do that nice thing for the person they care about' (This isn't uncommon; I know a couple of ace people, and at least one of them is physically intimate with their partner moderately regularly, because it makes them happy to make their partner happy, even though they don't get anything other than that by-proxy enjoyment from it). As others have mentioned, it would make the most sense if different characters reacted differently to this (maybe you can eventually pursue a romantic but non-physically sexual relationship with Lae'zel, but her 'line' is that she's still going to take care of her needs with others, and you'll need to accept that approach to continue with her - maybe Gale, on the other hand, is open to keeping things non-phsyical but also exclusive with you, and that is the approach that he will accept, etc.).

Unfortunately, it's a complexity of relationship that, if it is done, really needs to be done carefully and well, or else it will come off worse and more distasteful than if they didn't do it at all.

+1

"Unfortunately, it's a complexity of relationship that, if it is done, really needs to be done carefully and well, or else it will come off worse and more distasteful than if they didn't do it at all."

It's about ALL relationship, it's all hard and complicated, and u r right "needs to be done carefully and well". With sex part or not. But if you can't accept the versatility of a normal relationship, maybe you don’t need romances? Sex isn't necessary and you must learn to accept rejection
And I guess only Larian knows how make it better

To be clear, huck, I'm speaking entirely in support of those options being available to PCs to request; I just think that a flat and automatic acceptance of it, without negative impact, and without any further conversation, when the character in question is actively moving to proposition you, would just come off as crass - I'd want the request to branch into a few extra lines of dialogue at the least, or else to spur another conversation later on, about what the pc and the character both want the relationship to be.


In other related news, however, it does look as though *not* bedding someone on the party night isn't guaranteed to dead-end your romantic options with them anyway, at least so far. For most of the characters, it's clearly not a romantic thing at all, and I've heard (second hand, from others... I've still not managed to hit all the right flags myself...) that if you've progressed your romance with Gale, but don't pick him at the party, his thread goes on afterwards anyway?

Larian already has lizard prostitutes and a lizard romance in some of their games, no to mention the necrophiliac romance with that skeleton guy, so I don't think they care what people will think

Yeah but if you tell Astarion that you don't wanna have secks with him, he will leave you. And then it's no longer a romance. Same applies to most characters. Maybe SH could be open to asexuality, but I don't see any of the other characters entertaining the idea.

Nope. If you don't pick him, he just comes on to you the next night, and you're friendzoned if you then refuse. You're also friendzoned if you refuse to go beyond a kiss in his romance scene.

I'm hoping that there will be further romance triggers later in the game. After all, it's possible to skip the tiefling/goblin party entirely, and I can't see that locking you out of all the romances.

Not graphic though and as far as I know never with the main character. Not even fade to black I think.
Note that the red prince is the only character you can't have intimacy with in DOS2 and he himself only sleeps with another lizard?

I know that the topic has already been discussed, but still...
I really liked the developers' approach to love relationships in their previous game, DOS2. The writers gave us, the players, unprecedented freedom by removing restrictions in the form of race, gender, and physical difference.
Why not give us the opportunity to build romantic relationships not only through sex? I understand we will have a choice either way - either a serious relationship or a one-night stand. The concept of asexuality would fit in here, why not?
Yes, I understand that Astarion and Lae probably won't be interested in that kind of relationship, but we still have plenty of potential options.