I was going to write all the same that OP wrote. So, yes, totally agreed. That "playersexuality" needs to take more subtle route, so we would be able to make friends as well as lovers without micromanaging approval.
Also person's sexually is something the person developed and risked to announce to the point. We all know those stories about someone turning 180° on the matter and telling everyone that they were just afraid / not realizing before. I would say it should be the case with Wyll, Gale and Shadowheart with homosexual relationships. They can still stay "playersexual", but become the hard nut to crack for same gender. Just because at the start of the game they do not define themselves as homosexual.