The basic difference is between players wanting a more fluid computer game, and those wanting a facsimile of the tabletop experience. You, I assume, want a facsimile of the tabletop expeience, but that seems a long way short of being a majority opinion.
The dichotomy may not even exist. I'm not a tabletop DnD player, so the desire for a facsimile of the tabletop experience was never there. In fact, I thought I enjoyed the combat for the first 2 or 3 characters. I didn't understand why there was so much discussion that Larian should stick as closely to DnD 5E as possible. I didn't see what the big deal was. I understood their arguments intellectually, but I didn't feel it. But I arrived at the realisation on my own that the combat in this game is incredibly shallow, with Larian homebrews being more powerful than class abilities and spells, leading to every melee character playing the same way and likewise for ranged ones. So if an average player like me, who is not a tabletop DnD player, could see something wrong with the combat in this game, there may be more who might come to realise this on their own too, once they've played the game enough. There will always be those who just love to cheese their way through the game. But for the ones who desire a more tactical game play, enough time spent on the game just might expose the shallowness of the combat system.
Well then, if WotC were hoping BG3 would attract people to tabletop DnD, maybe they will succeed with you
Even though I don't play DnD any more, I also mostly use the available class features rather than exploits. Not because I particularly object to the exploits/cheese, but because I find the encounters are usually resolved quicker and cleaner ( less collateral damage ) if you play that way.
That doesn't mean I particularly like the DnD combat rules, as the 5e rules design is particularly poor for implementation as the sort of fluid game I prefer. But it is what it is, and as combat is the least important aspect of RPGs for me, I'll settle for whatever allows me to get through it with the least amount of time spent doing so.
I understand almost everyone that expresses frustration at the game, because there seem to be so many different expectations of what the game experience would actually be. BG3 is mostly only a "spiritual successor" to the original games, and is only "based on" the DnD 5e rules, which upsets some members both those communities. And while it is a a DOS-like co-op game, not everyone from that community necessarily likes FR & DnD rules.
Larian didn't actually promise any particular degree of interpretation accuracy for either the BG experience, or the 5e rules, but they did appeal to both communities in marketing the game. So I hope that between configurarion options provided by Larian and simple mods, everyone can have a game that they can enjoy playing.
It would probably be most helpful if forum feedback is focused on moving towards that sort of win-win situation, but it often seems like it is not.
