Hey, I am all for player sexuality. And while I really do appreciate that Larian makes our companion come to us instead of "forcing" us to pick romantic options in order to trigger future romances, I really do wish there would be more obvious "friendzone"-options early on. Some dialogues that very obviously are meant for those who do not want to pursue romance with that particular companion - AND PLEASE, LARIAN. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE don't wait until the game has the character standing there in front of you with flowers in hand.
If I had to pull an example, I'd bring DA:O to the discussion. I'll say that I absolutely loved the way one could handle Leliana - she hinted at liking your character physically, and you could just give her some responses that were so obvious friendzoning and her approval rating would move from the romantic flags ("interested" etc) to friend ("warm"), yet there seemed to be no harm done. She seemed happy with it and honestly, she seems a bit ... Spectacular to hide feelings if there were any so I don't believe I got deceived. Nor did I lose any approval rating (quite the opposite, I gained approval). Everybody walks out happily!
... HOWEVER, when it came to Alistair... Oh dear god, it was a fucking disaster. I thought of him as a silly brother so I got kinda weirded out when he started flirting. He started dropping romantic hints and I had no way to turn them down without being mean, so I picked as neutral options as possible - and well... Then there finally was the time when he came there asking for more and neutral options lead to kissing and intense music. I struggled for far longer than I am willing to admit to attempt to find a way to shut the romance down without being a dick - but honestly? It seems like it just wasn't possible. In the end I had to just tell him "yeah no, we're just friends" as he asks if he believes I could ever develop feelings for him (with the saddest puppy eyes I've ever seen in a game), ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS - NOT JUST ONCE (and this MUST have been a bug). I am not sure what went wrong with my play-through, but I just kept getting romance scenes with Alistair through-out the entire night when I was playing and I felt so horribly bad for shutting him down over and over.
I agree that Leliana was very well done, especially how you can be a good friend with her or move into something more, but it wasn't this abrupt shift. Even though my DA:O character was involved with Allistair, I was sorely tempted to have her ditch him for Leliana just because I liked her character so much.
I think the issues with camping and companion interaction queuing in BG3 make it hard for the game to convey companion interest in stages. I was actually surprised a few days ago by a dialogue with Astarion that I hadn't encountered before where he expresses his interest (without actually propositioning your character) and your character can express interest back or shut it down.
Maybe they do have those kinds of conversations planned in for everyone and they're just really easy to miss. However, if they don't, then a couple conversations like that would make things seem a lot less abrupt when you get to the party night. It would also allow your character to let the companion know if they're not interested (or not yet), and that would flag them not make future overtures. However, if they did do it that way, then I think they should still leave it open to pick things up again later (assuming you weren't rude about it). It might be easy to miss certain cues otherwise (or you might just be playing a romantically clueless character).
I very much agree with everything you said. There should be options to at least temporary stop romantic advances, but - if I would have it my way, it wouldn't be permanent. Especially not if Larian is planning to do some big plot twists and/or character development.
I mean, imagine this:
You turn down edgy Vampire boy Astarion because well... Edge and evil - then he turns out to be a really noble and heroic person... Buuut, your romance with him is forever halted. You turn down the funny and charismatic Gale - and then it turns out that he is aiming to become a god himself and is really quite evil. And you play a Evil character... Bummer. You turn down Shadowheart because she is secretive and emotionally unstable - buuut then she gets her memories back and turns out to be a really caring and sweet Selûne priestess... Well sh!t. You turn down Lae'zel because she is too brutish and seems to only care about physical attractions - but then it turns out that she is this really sweet wifu material... You turn down Wyll because he is too self-absorbed and obsessed with his demon patron - aaand then it turns out that once he is rid of her, he becomes a more humble hero - trying to make the world a better place little by little.
Point is, for all we know - these characters could develop to be the polar opposite of what they are now (or at least what we think they are). While I do support being able to at least somewhat halt the incoming "romance"-options, I think it would be really weird if Larian allowed us to burn our bridges permanently when we don't even know them (obviously that could be an option too - but it has to be so obvious that no one would do it by mistake, like you said. Something REALLY mean and/or that leaves no doubt - like being a sworn hermit/nun).
Hoot hoot, stranger! Fairly new to CRPGs, but I tried my best to provide some feedback regardless! <3 Read it here: My Open Letter to Larian
