I'm actually sure that "mechanics" are used not only in MMORPGs, I just say it as an example. In many singles, you need to do a certain thing to defeat the boss. Well, I don't know, for example, in Resident 3. I just don't want to say the names of specific games, suddenly you don't know them, so I said "mmorpg".
I would say Dark Souls, Lords of the Fallen, or simmilar games ...
Those are quite good examples of bosses with certain mechanics that you HAVE TO learn, otherwise you are screwed.
Think about in the panel from hell, how the only way that swen could defeat the hag was by using some sort of cheese tactic.
Im sory, do you expect Swen to do snow us multiple loads and different tactics in every combat? O_o
Of course he used only one, that fight with Hag was only exhibition of Druid (not even good one, since dices kinda screwed him

) but that dont mean that there isnt any other.
Have you fighted Hag? Have you fighter her exactly the same as Swen did? And if not (and i believe you didnt) how can you say that it was
the only way?
Games should be made so that if you understand the rules enough you should be able to go into a boss fight and utilize tactics that you no and have at your disposal to be able to win the fight.
If you read those reactions, you have to see that multiple players are confriming here that they used multiple different approaches, from wich some was more effective and some less ... but in the end, everything was manageable. O_o
That alone kinda confrims that they all were perfectly able to
go into a boss fight and utilize tactics that you no and have at your disposal to be able to win the fight.So what exactly is point of your complaint right now?
So, in the case of the spider fight, you should be able to fight tour way through the entire spider lair from start to finish without needing a long rest and still beat the spider queen and her minions.
Of you have to long rest to beat thr spider queen and/or use some sort of special tactics like knocking her off webs
or sneaking around to kill all the eggs first
that is not the way D&D is supposed to be played.
1) You are able to fight your way through entire spider lair from start to finish without needing a long rest ...
- Regular Phase Spiders can be beaten without using spellslots ... either with Cantrips, or with Scrolls ...
- You can heal yourself with food, outside of combat ... and even if you dont, bcs you dont want to, there still are two Short Rests and quite strong healing once per short rest, if you have Life Cleric ...
2) You dont have to knock her off webs, multiple people allready confrimed this multiple times ... if you are unable to kill her without it, while everyone else is, maybe (once again) there is some other problem, dont you think?
3) You dont have to sneak around to kill the eggs, yes its usefull ... but certainly not possible, Burning hands, or single Cleave will do the charm aswell.

And you can hit Matriarch with both, if you manage to position your party right.

4) This claim is something i wanna focus on for a while ...
"that is not the way D&D is supposed to be played."I dont claim to be über experienced DnD player, i had only few dozen sessions with my friends wich all are almost half country away from me so we have quite some problems harmonize our times ... but i like the topic and listens many youtubers with theyr stories (I can certainly recommend "All things DnD", or "The Order of the Stick" webcomics) ...
And i never, litteraly never, heared about single good DM that would punish his group for inventing different approach to fight, or unortodox tactics if you wish.
Quite the oposite honestly. O_o
Lets look at it:
1) This seems perfectly fine to me ... managing your resources is cruicial part of DnD, and i never heared about even single party that used everything at their disposal for first mob they meet inside of dungeon ...
2) Same story here ... our Ranger in one session managed to save us from Duegar Slavers by collapsing the tunnel we were in ... it was risky move, but it worked. Using your surounding is part of DnD and i dont see any problem in it. O_o
3) Sneaking around to destroy the eggs ... have you even in DnD session heared rogue or ranger say
"I shall scout ahead" ... it might be risky, but certainly possible.
So what exactly is
"not the way D&D is supposed to be played." ?
It's not about that. It's about how the only reason the fight IS manageable is because you have to discover and use certain gimmicks.
You keep saying that ... and people keep telling you its not truth ...
Come on, this conversation will be a lot shorter if you actualy read responces. :-/
I'm just saying, the whole reason D&D is a fun game is that you don't have to use gimmicks to beat enemies. You use your characters skills and abilities and spells and items to vanquish foes, and you use them smartly and strategically.
AND everything else you can think of ...
I dont quite know what are yours experience with DnD, as i said mine isnt much rich to be honest ... but i allways find the most fun in using my imagination, to be kinda forced to think ... and not just for puzzles, but for everything starting in conversations, ending with combat. O_o
Maybe its just our DM, that wants us to describe him everything we say, everything we do ... and if he find our effort to be insuficient, he simply raises dificiulty of that particular task.
(That works best in conversations ... you say "i shall roll intimidation" and you have to roll nat. 20 ... you say "i shall intimidate them with: "Look mate, i have really powerfull friends and if you want to mess with me, count that you are messing with them too." and sudently you can sucess with rolling 15-20 ... and if you remember mentioning any specific names that was mentioned in session, or remembered any titbits you could use in your advantage, you can theoreticly manage to have ensured sucess. And i honestly love it that way.)
Actualy even the wery existence of DM inspiration is proof that you actualy ARE suppose to approchach things in your characters way ... that you ARE suppose to think ... that you are not suppose just roll the dices and calculate outcomes like a machine. :-/
I just shouldn't have to use those things to win.
And once aggain ... you dont.

He planned to do it because it's easier. But Larian gives you the opportunity to win in a different way, and many people have done it before. When you say "you can only win in THIS particular way!" you are lying to yourself and to others. Know rules? I hope you're not talking about DnD rules, because average gamer is almost guaranteed not to know these rules.
I also didn't use long rest in spider's location, cuz we have 2 quick rests. Ordinary spiders are killed quite simply.
Don't forget that you also have potions, scrolls, and a critical hit chance. Oh, trust me, Larian gives you many chance to play this fight differently, and they never say "you should use webs". And that's why I didn't use them first time! Because I didn't know about it, no one told me about it.
Of course, when I found out, I started using them, if possible. Yes, this fight has mechanics, but it is not so strict that you can only kill the spider in this one way. Believe me, some games have just such mechanics when u use it or die, no choice.
In general, in any game there is a more complex way and an easier one. Somewhere it is easier to play something as a mage, somewhere as a warrior, somewhere in guide on YouTube will be told you "this item will help you easily and simply pass this boss". It's kind of normal. But, again, you don't need to play a mage or warrior, you don't need to find this item, and you don't need to use web if you don't want.
We're discussing the web here, but did you know that a spider can also be pushed into a hole? This makes fight a LOT EASIER, but you can fail it like Swen did in that fight with the hag and get into a very bad situation.
So you already have three or even four options:
1. You can push spider into hole
2. You can try to kill her with a spider web
3. You can save all powerful potions and scrolls for this battle
4. You can kill spider with your own powers, yes it is possible
Oh, you can also just talk to a spider! If you have a druid, and don't kill her at all. Are you going to keep telling me that Larian doesn't give you any fighting options? I beg you...
What are the alternatives? removed web? But you can do it yourself... Or that spider would not use webs after first fall? I have already said OP is actually wrong, and spider does not always use web. It all depends on case and position of your party. She's not as stupid as you think.
Exactly.

I usually just snipe pull the regular spiders
Wich is curently impossible sadly ...
When i tried last time to engage combat with that spider that is patroling lower parts of Lair he just healed himself to full ... over, and over, and over, and over. -_-
This mechanic is something i honestly hate, ok let them heal themself when engaged, w/e ... but shouldnt they logicaly go look for some intruder instead of turn around and keep their boring routine? That is just stupid. :-/
So I would expect that the Matriarch would have maybe 64 HP and maybe 15 or 16 AC. Making her considerably tougher than the others. She might have 2 attacks, maybe, but even that I wouldn't really expect because she was a wizard who became a spider.
Then you would expect wrong. :-/
Just look at this: https://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Giant_Spider_Matriarch_(5e_Creature)
Its not even Phase spider ... compare theese: https://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/5e_SRD:Giant_Spider ... and https://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/5e_SRD:Phase_Spider ... its quite clear that Phase Spiders ARE suppose to be stronger than regular Giant Spiders.
wipe the floor with a level 4 character in 1 round
Prepared, buffed and corectly equipped level 4 character, with full HP? Nah, not even chance ... unless you would be extremely unlucky.
With every single thing missing (low hp, low AC since you dont have proper armor /
note that Metal Helmet is protecting you from crittical strikes for example/, or shield if possible, missing Bless and Aid, etc. etc.), her chances are incerasing drasticaly ... that is true, but that is once again not misstake of that spider.
You say you can beat her without these things but then tells me that you had to reload 5 times.
Eh ... no, Nyloth told you that s/he (sory still not quite sure, no offence i hope :-/) had to reload when s/he was first time in this fight and didnt yet know the game much.
Do you remember first life gameplay presentation? Swen was wiped out by those three Intellect devourers at beach.

//edit:
Party of 4 = Diadell the Wood Elf Rogue, Drogyn the Half-Orc Barbarian, Lynari the Drow Wizard and Vel the Half-Elf Druid. They are even Level 5 characters.
You somehow managed to get Half-Orc, Barbarian and level 5 ... even tho nothing of it was implemented yet.
And you expect us to take this, as you like to say "homebrewed" example as proof? O_o
I just think it's stupid that she can down a PC in one hit.
Can you provide more information?
Im honestly curious, since it never happened to me. O_o
She should just teleport in the middle of the party and kill everyone instead of bouncing around in web, waiting to take massive fall damage.
Are you even sure she can? I mean, what is range of her teleport?
And how does she take three times more fall damage than anyone else?
I believe there will be some connection to fact that she is three times more heavy than anyone else.

It's her lair, the environment should work for her favor.
This is actualy good point ...
Except she kinda did what spiders usualy do ... covered it all around with webs so she can easily move from single place to another. O_o
Cant quite imagine a spider to reduce high of surrounding pillars.

Also i believe no spider matriarch counts with group of heroes that will burning everything they see.

You mean that spear you get from Owlbear and that Dwarf?
Sadly that bonus damage dont work on spiders ... i presume its a bug, but someone allready reported around here its bonus damage is working for Spectator/Beholder only in EA.
I'd like to rely on these abilities and clever resource management while making my way through those caves instead of cheesing my way through boss fights.
And the best part is that you CAN! Isnt it fun? :P