All good points. Made me think of Dragon Age and how cleverly they constructed the reason why everyone followed you (because u were the last warden with treaty power) and why you were an underpowered chode (because you were brand new). Then you get some flavors of followers, from religious nuts to mommy figures…but in the end, they all just want to kill some darkspawn with u. AND may even turn on you if you screw around too much (Sten) or make the wrong choices (Zevlan).
I seriously doubt Larian will bother tweaking these relationships or the logic for your custom char to be followed. They have made it pretty clear that you *should* be playing one of the Origin chars. Ie, playing custom gets you less dialouge options (from mined datafiles if what origin chars get), less development (you have no personal story like the others), and less reason to be the leader of this group. That is a bummer for sure. Especially if you are like me and have no desire to play an origin char.
On the other hand, it is even more unbelievable to me that ANY kind of the origin chars would be accepted as the leader either. Why would Lazeal follow Wyll? Or Gale follow Asterion? And all of the chars are so arrogant, it is impossible to imagine them giving a crap about the other companions to bother talking to them in camp all that much. (Another reason I would not enjoy playing as any if them).
None of these people would ever follow each other around. Their personalities are too strong. If the tadpole brings them together, and the leader has a super tadpole or whatever…it needs to be explicitly defined (beyond dreams one may or may not get). But even then…they would def have more to say during dialogues where u take the lead (although to be fair they do interject quite a bit already).