I agree with everything you said!
I'll emphasize your comments on playing a drow. How the camp goblins reacted to me-as-a-drow was great, but the other interactions (druids, tieflings, flaming fist, initial attacking goblins) left something to be desired. I am a drow. Drow are known for being evil and vicious and murderous and evil. Everyone should extremely wary of me, at the least. I get why Larian doesn't want most NPCs to become hostile, but I think there's some better middle ground between that and the current NPC responses. I wouldn't be opposed to some enemies refusing to talk to me directly (or maybe requiring a persuasion/intimidation check for them to talk to me) unless I was in a disguise. This wouldn't be that penalizing, as you could always use a different party member to talk to that NPC. It would mostly just make it feel like you're truly playing a hated & feared race.
In particular, the drow in the underdark should behave differently if I'm a drow, especially if I'm a female (since drow society is matriarchical). It was a bit disappointing that they were just treated as regular enemies, even more especially since you save them. Hopefully the updated knock-out system will/can lead to having a conversation with them afterward. (Maybe it already has? I haven't tested that in this current patch)
