For example:
1. The spell "Divine smite" is grayed out and cannot be used.
2. You hit. The game registers successful hit and the target.
2. The game highlights for you the spell "Divine smite" and allows to use it against that registered target at expense of 1 spell slot.
There is a weapon that grants divine smite in BG3. I just got it so I haven’t used it yet.
That said for the Paladin ability I think they’re going to follow the same methodology as battle maneuvers. You click smite, attack the enemy, and if it hits you trigger smite.
I hope this isn’t the case as you should be able to save them for crits, and choose the level you are going to burn.
I would much rather have pop-ups or icon centered reactions and smites as you suggested.