I guess at the root of this is we view stories differently, I don't think the point of a good story is to appeal to the greatest number of people. Some of the most powerful stories are pretty unseemly, with characters and protagonists that aren't sympathetic.
What you're describing is a power fantasy/wish fulfillment narrative, people want to be the main character in this story, they never want to be told they can't, they never want to hear the word no. I can enjoy that story, but what it means for every companion character is they are just another accessory to your characters potency; making any companion what you the player wants them to be, has to mean something to the story, otherwise they're just cutouts for you to game into their good-graces.
I want a game that doesn't patronize me. To use your example, I want to stay up all night drinking wine, having an arcane discourse with a well-spoken erudite wizard, and then have him say that he doesn't see me that way, the reasons for the character why can be anything. If you want the reason why I want that, it's because the character's been written with his own character in mind instead of whatever will please the player.
Agree 100%
