You can ask Shadowheart as a drow, she doesn't mind them. She admires those who are skilled in manipulation in deception (like Raphael), so she'd approve of drow and their society. Afaik Astarion is lacking a reaction.
how do I trigger this dialogue? I played often as Drow and never got any reaction from her, except once I decided to meet her at the gate instead of freeing her on the ship. I got some sort of attempt flirting because of her name with a drow dialogue, but that's all.
