I'm not against the tadpoles in theory. I'm not even against the tadpoles being special and it turning out that we don't need to really worry about changing, but I think the handling of all that isn't really that good at this point. And a big problem is that the game starts out by telling us how worried we should be about the tadpoles then walks it back in a bunch of indirect ways almost immediately, which hurts the experience because that urgency actively discourages exploration from an in-character perspective. I know in my first playthorugh I tried to rest as little as possible and went straight for the Gith patrol because I thought that was the main quest, I thought transforming was a real threat and I thought the druid grove stuff was just side content. As a result I missed out on a lot of companion content and genrally had a pretty poor first experience because my lack of resting made everything in the game harder on me. I've seen arguments made that the game gives a lot of hints that transforming isn't as much of a problem as it seems but I think that when the issue is touted as the first big threat of the game, hints aren't good enough. We're primed to be laser-focused on the tadpole problem by everything in the story, primed to be concerned about the ticking clock they present, all of that. I think that in the face of that, there should be some sort of cathartic confirmation that we don't have to worry about changing. Otherwise it's just a lot of built up tension that at best kinda fizzles. Even in the context of it all being a mystery, part of the fun of a mystery is that the story itself presents you with the answer and you can have the catharsis of "yes, this is what's going on, I understand now." Even if you can figure out the mystery ahead of time, if by the end of the book, the story doesn't actually give you the answer, it's not going to feel as satisfying unless the point is to not have an answer. And I know we're not at the end of the game's story or even the end of the game's first act, but if Larian wants us to behave as though the tadpoles aren't an issue, then they should at some point give us narrative permission to fully relax and confirm that "it's okay, you don't have to worry about this." Otherwise, what do they gain by not providing that?
Agree completely and my first playthrough was almost identical to yours. It left me rather frustrated and then when I realized the urgency was not there I was a bit disappointed in the story. I also find it difficult to ever include Lae'zel in a party despite the need for a fighter because her character is completely driven to find her kin and thus should naturally lead to going straight for the Gith patrol. Logically I think Lae'zel would leave any party and strike out on her own if she thought they were planning on going to Ethel or Halsin. I find Lae'zel's character too one dimensional. Given the actual lack of urgency in getting rid of the tadpoles It might have made more sense to have Lae'zel written as a bit of an outcast among the Gith somewhat suspicious of Voss and his party and therefore not so driven to find them and more open to pursuing alternatives.
As it stands they only way I feel I can logically have Lae'zel in my party is to first head to the Gith as she wishes, then assume the lead in talking to Voss. It feels completely unrealistic that Lae'zel allows me to do this given that up until then she has been barking orders at me as if I'm a servant. It also seems odd that I would attempt to do this since up until now I've been following those orders. Even that solution is unsatisfying though as she still insists on heading to the Creche. How am I to logically resolve her coming back with us to explore any of the alternate paths? Realistically we should just part ways at his point (especially since I can't go to the creche in EA!) as she has abandoned me before. I therefore find it really hard to logically include her in my party so I have done playthroughs as a fighter myself, gone with a party of 3, or a party of 4 with no fighter.
This also brings up a further thought. I don't know where the Lae'zel character is supposed to appear after the Nautiloid crash but the story suggests she deliberately abandons us. Wouldn't it be more in keeping with how her character is written that she would slit our throats (and Shadowheart) before heading off?
I therefore think the Lae'zel character as currently written is seriously flawed.
