I don't think we're going to get straightforward magic items that make sense.
These devs seem to think these myriad weird properties and conditions and the complexity for minor modifiers they bring make for good gameplay. There was a ton of these items already and they just took it to a whole new level with this patch. Reminds me of the same puzzle-like design they like to do with boss fights. I think this kind of item design is better suited for puzzle or platform games than D&D or RPG's in general.
I don't feel impressed by these magic items when I find them. I just feel confused at the unnecessarily complicated and nonsensical design.
